Lack of forgiveness and it's effect on us.
When we condemn another or ourselves, we are condemned to live a life where the underpinning of hatred, bitterness and anger rule.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm in the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” - Mark Twain
When tragedy happens it can be an isolating experience punctuated by uncertainty, despair, anger, blame, guilt, anxiety and many more overwhelming emotions that may impact at any time or place without rhythm nor reason.
We must face what has damaged us or been damaged because of us and seek a way to live with it. How we feel must be worked through or else it remains, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit. You can grieve for a loss, yet keep yourself from losing all perspective, all appreciation for all the good things that still remain in your life.
Q&A with our Founder:
Q: Why did you need to forgive yourself when you weren’t at fault for the drunk driver who's actions took the life of your father?
A: When my dad died because of the drunk driving crash, I had many evil thoughts towards another person and angry at "God" for letting this happen. I despised, condemned and hated myself for having these horrendous feelings, which I learned years later are ALL normal phases of grief. I was shocked, I felt if I had known these feelings were normal, natural human responses to grief and its unique circumstances, perhaps I would have been easier on judging myself so harshly. This is when I made the resolve to raise this awareness for others to perhaps share my experience to help them to not have to suffer as long or as hard as I had. It is only through my processing grief and learning what true forgiveness means that I was able to see that on the other side of this story is another human being; a man that simply made a bad choice to drive under the influence of alcohol. I saw that he too suffered as much, if not more than I, but certainly differently.
Q: How were you able to get over revenge and forgive?
A: After many years, I realized I had a choice to hold onto my vengeful, hateful feelings and never be happy or to let them go. Forgiveness, I discovered, is really a very "selfish" thing for me to do. All my life I thought it was for the other person, to "pardon" them. But I discovered, if I wanted to be truly happy, I knew I had no choice, I had to let go so I can be for giving to myself the possibility to live a happy fulfilled, peaceful life.
Hope comes about largely as a result of confidence and trust in the professionals at Elevating Hope to support you on your unique journey.